chat_bubbleConversation Guide

How to Start a Conversation with New Friends

Not sure what to say when you match with someone new? This guide covers simple conversation starters and tips to help you break the ice and keep a conversation going—without the awkwardness.

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The simple 3-step method

Starting a conversation doesn't have to be complicated. Follow this approach and you'll have something genuine to say every time.

1

Notice something in their profile

Look at their bio, interests, or photos. Find something specific you can mention—a hobby they listed, a place they visited, or something they seem excited about.

2

Ask an easy question about it

Turn what you noticed into a simple question. Something like "How did you get into that?" or "What do you like most about it?" works well. Keep it open-ended so they have room to share.

3

Share a small related detail about yourself

Add a brief line about yourself so it doesn't feel like an interview. For example: "I've been wanting to try that!" or "I'm into something similar." Keep it short—no life stories yet.

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Conversation starters that actually work

Here are ready-to-use openers grouped by topic. Pick one that fits, personalize it if you can, and you're good to go. These work whether you're figuring out what to say to new friends or just need a fresh idea.

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Shared interests & hobbies

I noticed you like [interest]—how did you get into that? • What's been your favorite thing about [hobby] lately? • Are you working on any projects or hobbies right now? • Do you have a favorite creator or artist in [interest area]? • How long have you been into [activity]? • What got you started with [interest]?

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School & work life (general)

What's keeping you busy these days? • Are you more of a morning person or a night owl? • What's something you're looking forward to this week? • Do you prefer working on stuff alone or with others? • What's a subject or skill you'd love to learn more about?

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Movies, music, games & books

Watched anything good lately? • What kind of music do you usually listen to? • Are you playing any games right now? • Read any good books or manga recently? • Do you have a favorite movie genre? • What show or movie could you rewatch forever?

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Food & travel

What's your go-to comfort food? • If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go? • Do you like trying new foods or stick to favorites? • What's a place you'd love to travel to someday? • Sweet or savory—which do you prefer?

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Light "would you rather" questions

Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible? • Would you rather live in a city or the countryside? • Would you rather have unlimited books or unlimited movies? • Would you rather explore space or the deep ocean? • Would you rather always be early or always be on time? • Would you rather have more free time or more spending money?

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How to keep the conversation going

Starting is one thing—keeping it going is another. Here are practical tactics to help you keep a conversation going once you've broken the ice.

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Ask follow-up questions

When they share something, dig a little deeper. 'That's cool—what do you like most about it?'

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Share something related

After they answer, share a brief related experience of your own. It keeps things balanced.

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Use open-ended questions

Questions that start with 'what,' 'how,' or 'why' invite longer answers than yes/no questions.

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Mirror their energy

If they're sending longer messages, match that. If they're brief, keep yours light too.

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Notice new details

Pay attention to what they mention and bring it up later. It shows you're listening.

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Introduce new topics naturally

If a topic runs dry, transition smoothly: 'That reminds me...' or 'Speaking of which...'

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React genuinely

If something they say is funny or interesting, let them know. Simple reactions keep conversations warm.

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Don't be afraid of pauses

Conversations don't have to be constant. It's okay to reply later when you have something to say.

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Ask for recommendations

People love sharing things they enjoy. Ask for their favorite song, show, or game recommendation.

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Be curious, not interrogating

Spread your questions out. Too many in a row can feel like an interview.

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What not to say early

Building trust takes time. In early conversations, avoid asking for or sharing sensitive personal information. It's about privacy and respect—for yourself and the other person.

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Don't ask for their phone number right away
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Don't ask where they live or their exact location
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Don't ask for their school or workplace name
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Don't ask for their full legal name
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Don't ask for passwords or private account info
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Don't bring up money or financial topics
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Safety reminders for chatting online

Chatting online is fun, but staying safe is important. Keep these points in mind:

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Keep personal details private until you've built trust over time.
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If something feels off, stop replying. You can block and report anyone who makes you uncomfortable.
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If you're under 18 and someone makes you uneasy, talk to a trusted adult.
FAQ

Frequently asked questions

A good first message notices something specific from their profile and asks a simple question about it. For example, if they mention they like drawing, you could say: 'Hey! I saw you're into drawing—what kind of stuff do you like to draw?' Keep it friendly and easy to answer.
One-word replies happen. Try asking a follow-up question that's more open-ended, or share something about yourself to give them more to respond to. If they keep giving short answers, they might just be busy or not in a chatty mood—and that's okay.
Keep your first message short—two to three sentences is ideal. A quick greeting, a comment or question about their profile, and maybe a small detail about yourself. Long paragraphs can feel overwhelming to reply to.
It's better to wait. Get to know someone through the app first before sharing other accounts. This keeps your personal information protected until you've built some trust. There's no rush.
Trust your instincts. If something feels off, you can stop replying at any time—you don't owe anyone an explanation. Use the block feature to prevent further contact, and report the user if they've broken community rules. If you're under 18, consider telling a trusted adult.
You can find our full set of rules in the Community Guidelines and detailed safety information in our Safety Center, both linked at the bottom of our website.
Avoid asking for personal details like phone numbers, addresses, school names, or full names. Also steer clear of overly personal questions about family problems, finances, or anything that could make the other person uncomfortable. Keep things light and friendly at first.
Absolutely! Most people appreciate when someone takes the initiative to start a conversation. A friendly, genuine first message shows you're interested in getting to know them. Don't be afraid to say hi.

Ready to put these tips into practice?

Start connecting with new people and try out these conversation starters.

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