schoolSchool Guide

How to Make Friends at a New School

Starting at a new school can feel overwhelming—new faces, new routines, and the pressure to fit in. But making friends doesn't have to be scary. This guide breaks down practical, low-pressure ways to make friends at a new school, whether it's your first week or you're still settling in.

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The first-week plan

Your first week sets the tone. Here's a simple, realistic approach to get started without overwhelming yourself.

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Days 1–2: Observe and settle in

Focus on learning the layout of the school, finding your classes, and noticing who seems friendly. You don't have to talk to everyone right away—just get comfortable.

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Days 3–4: Start small conversations

Say hi to the person next to you in class or ask a simple question like 'What class do we have next?' Small interactions build familiarity over time.

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Days 5–7: Join something or sit with someone

Look for a club, activity, or group project to join. Or simply ask someone if you can sit with them at lunch. Most people are more welcoming than you expect.

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Easy places to meet people

You don't have to force friendships. These are natural settings where connections happen organically.

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Clubs and activities

Join a club that matches your interests—art, music, sports, gaming, debate, or anything else. You'll meet people who already share something in common with you.

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Classes and study groups

Sitting near the same people every day creates familiarity. Ask a classmate for help with notes or offer to study together.

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Lunch and break times

Lunch can feel awkward, but it's also a great chance to connect. Look for a table that seems welcoming or ask if you can join a group.

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Group projects

When teachers assign group work, it's a built-in opportunity to talk to classmates you wouldn't otherwise approach.

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Sports and PE

Physical activities naturally break down barriers. Team sports or gym class give you something to bond over.

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The bus or walk to school

If you see the same people on your commute, a simple wave or conversation starter can lead to a friendship.

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What to say: conversation starters

Not sure how to break the ice? Here are teen-safe conversation starters that work in school settings. For more tips, check out our full conversation guide.

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Hey, I'm new here—do you know where [room/building] is?
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What did you think of that assignment?
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Is the food here usually good?
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I like your [backpack/shoes/phone case]—where did you get it?
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Have you been to any of the clubs here?
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What do people usually do after school?
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Do you know any good spots to hang out around here?
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Are you in any sports or activities?
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What's the best class you've had so far?
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Do you know if there's a [gaming/art/music] club?
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Who's the best teacher here?
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Is this class usually this hard?
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Want to be partners for this project?
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Did you do anything fun this weekend?
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What music are you into?
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Have you watched anything good lately?
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How to join groups without it being awkward

Walking up to an established group can feel intimidating. Here are some practical scripts to make it easier.

Joining a lunch table

"Hey, is it cool if I sit here? I'm still figuring out where everyone hangs out."

lightbulbMost people will say yes. If they seem hesitant, thank them and try another table—no big deal.
Joining a conversation

"Sorry to jump in—are you talking about [topic]? I was just thinking about that."

lightbulbWait for a natural pause and keep your entry brief. People appreciate genuine interest.
Joining a club or activity

"Hi, I'm interested in joining. Is there anything I should know before the next meeting?"

lightbulbClub members are usually excited to welcome new people—that's the whole point of a club.
Partnering up for class

"Hey, want to work together on this? I don't really know anyone yet."

lightbulbBeing honest about being new often makes people more sympathetic and helpful.
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If you're shy or anxious

Feeling nervous about making friends is completely normal. Here are some supportive strategies that might help.

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Start with one person

You don't need to befriend the whole school. Focus on connecting with just one person first. Quality matters more than quantity.

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Prepare a few conversation starters

Having a few go-to questions in mind can reduce anxiety. You don't have to improvise everything.

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Remember: everyone feels awkward sometimes

Even the most confident-looking people feel nervous in social situations. You're not alone in this.

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Take breaks when you need them

It's okay to spend some time alone during the day. You don't have to be social every single moment.

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Celebrate small wins

Said hi to someone? That counts. Sat at a new table? That's progress. Small steps add up.

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Be patient with yourself

Building friendships takes time. Don't expect instant best friends—let relationships develop naturally.

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Online friends vs school friends

School isn't the only place to make friends. Online friendships can be just as meaningful—and sometimes easier to start if you're shy.

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Online friends share your interests

Apps and communities let you connect with people who share specific hobbies or passions that might be rare at your school.

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Less pressure, more time to think

Online conversations give you time to craft responses. There's less pressure to react instantly.

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Both types of friends matter

School friends and online friends can both add value to your life. It's not one or the other—you can have both.

If you're making friends online, stay safe: keep personal information private, trust your instincts, and don't share your location or school name with strangers.

FAQ

Frequently asked questions

Start small. You don't have to be the life of the party. Focus on one person at a time—say hi to the person next to you in class or ask a simple question. Prepare a few conversation starters ahead of time so you feel more confident. Remember that many people appreciate quiet, thoughtful friends.
Sitting alone happens to almost everyone at some point. You can use this time to observe and identify friendly-looking groups for next time. When you're ready, ask if you can join a table—most people will say yes. You can also bring a book or headphones if you need a comfortable activity while you settle in.
Ask about something you both share—a class, a teacher, an assignment, or even the food. Simple questions like 'What did you think of that test?' or 'Is this class always this hard?' are low-pressure ways to start talking. The key is to keep it casual and not overthink it.
There's no set timeline. Some friendships click quickly, while others take weeks or months to develop. Research suggests it takes around 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend. Be patient and focus on consistent, small interactions rather than forcing instant closeness.
Most friend groups aren't as closed off as they look. People often welcome new members, especially if you share interests. Join clubs or activities where groups naturally form around shared passions. You can also look for others who seem to be on the edges of groups—they might be looking for new friends too.
Yes! Online friendships can be great, especially if you share niche interests that aren't common at your school. Just make sure to use safe, moderated platforms and take your time getting to know people before sharing personal information.
Keep personal details private—don't share your full name, school name, address, or phone number early on. Use apps with safety features and moderation. Trust your instincts: if something feels off, stop the conversation. Talk to a trusted adult if anyone makes you uncomfortable.
Feeling left out is tough, but it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. Focus on finding people who share your interests rather than trying to fit into every group. Join clubs, try new activities, and remember that fitting in takes time. If feelings of loneliness persist, talking to a school counselor or trusted adult can help.

Ready to make new friends?

Whether at school or online, building friendships starts with one step. Explore more tips or start connecting today.

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